Monday

Coparenting through Change


My life has been unusually hectic lately. I've been preparing my house to put on the market - getting my kids used to the idea of change, painting at night, and trips to Home Depot on the weekends. I'm starting an entirely new business - while still trying to manage my design work, and as some of you already know, launching my new coparenting website - www.TwoHappyHomes.com.

It's been a lot to juggle, and my kids probably suffered through more nights of Spaghettios than they would have liked! But I'm finally able to take a breath, to relax a little and let things come as they may. My website has launched, I already have an offer on the house, and though I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for good measure, it seems that things may fall into place after all.

And maybe it's because I've had a little bit of a shift in my priorities lately, but coparenting seems to have been a lot easier these days as well. Both my ex and I have been very busy over the last few months, and there hasn't been any time for drama, or anger, or any other issues to creep up, for that matter.

So, I'm wondering, if the key to more peaceful coparenting is about letting go a little bit. Just taking time to concentrate on yourself and the kids, and NOT think about the hectic life you share with your co-parent. Kind of like a mini co-parenting vacation. The kids still come first, but when there's little time to deal with any kind of drama, it seems to dissipate naturally. The to-dos for today, tomorrow, or this week come first - instead of letting longer terms problems, or underlying issues, get in the way of the daily care and nurturing of the children.

And the end result is not only more peaceful co-parenting, but internal peace as well. It's liberating to let go of the things you may want to change about your coparent, but chances are you never will. It's more productive to concentrate on yourself and your family, instead of your worrying about your ex and what you wish they would do.

Co-parenting through change can be kind of like moving from one house to another - you clean out your closets and toss out everything that's been nagging away at you for all of these months or years. I'm sure you know how accomplished it can feel to start from a clean slate - looking into an empty closet and wonder why you didn't do this before. Sure, it will inevitably get filled with junk again. Just as life with your coparent will once again get cluttered with problems or issues, and you'll forget how uncomplicated it was not that long ago.

But for now the spring cleaning feels good. And I plan to make it last as long as I can!

Have you ever had to coparent through change? And did it affect you and your coparent in a positive or negative way?


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